By L. Smalls
After going 6-0 last week on the games I had vibes on and 5-5 on the one I forced, I have decided to cease and desist on listening to that voice in my head that tells me, “Come on pansy, the only way to be the best is to go 16-0 and you can’t go 16-0 unless you pick every game.” He’s a bully and it’s time I learned to be comfortable with my own limitations so I’m only picking the games I’m 99% sure of.
Death, taxes and…
*Feel free to bet your homes on these locks.
Giants over Bears
If you think the Bears are for real at 3-0, then you haven’t been paying attention. Jay Cutler should have finished the game against Green Bay with 5 interceptions instead of 1 and I can’t imagine that the Giants will shoot themselves in the foot as many times as Green Bay did last week to keep the Bears in the game. My lasting memory from the Green Bay game is that fourth quarter pass that Cutler heaved downfield into double coverage which Collins intercepted only to have the play erased by a pass interference call. Cutler thrusts his arms into the air like he did something right. That is all you need to know about where his head is. Peyton Manning would be scolding himself for making such a boneheaded decision in the first place instead of celebrating like he just made a great play.
The Giants have to win this game. It’s plain. It’s simple. It’s tic-tac-toe. If Coughlin loses this one his entire team will join Antrel Rolle and Brandon Jacobs on the “bitch and complain” train in an effort to get him fired so the team can make room for The Jaw next year. Throughout the Giants’ poor start they have been able to move the ball through the air (9th) and this trend should continue against the Bears soft secondary (28th). Look for the G-Men to settle in and get the job done offensively and defensively as they expose Cutler and the Bears for the frauds that they are.
Chargers over Cardinals
The Chargers have got to be motivated. Starting the season 1-2 while losing two very winnable road games has Phillip Rivers and company seething and the Cardinals are in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Chargers defense is playing extremely well and they should be able to contain the vaunted Derek Anderson-Stephen Williams connection even though they are running low on healthy LB’s.
The Cardinals aren’t doing much right, on offense or defense. With Steve Breaston out for a month and Larry Fitzgerald not looking like himself the offense will have to lean heavily on Beanie Wells and Tim Hightower to carry the load and hope the defense can keep them in games. Beanie looked good last week against the Raiders but this week’s matchup should be a tad more challenging. Derek Anderson needs to have one of his sporadic quality games for the Cardinals to even keep this one close.
Colts over Jaguars
After seeing what the Eagles did to the Jaguars last week I’m sure Peyton Manning and friends are getting excited about the possibilities of padding their individual stats against this awful franchise. David Garrard is playing the QB position like Ray Charles and if you can’t pass the ball then you are not going to compete with the Colts in a track meet. So can the defense keep this from being a shootout? Umm….no.
Jacksonville has earned the 29th ranking on defense by allowing big plays and not being able to get off the field on third down. The 38% conversion rate they give up on defense wouldn’t be that bad except for the fact that the defense rarely sees third downs because opponents are gashing them on first and second and don’t see many thirds against this team.
These Dogs are growling…
I’d take the points, but you don’t need them. On second thought, you might as well take them. Overconfidence is rarely something people look back on in a positive light.
49ers (+7) at Falcons
Look for the 49ers to right the ship against an over hyped Falcons team coming off a big win. Why does everyone think Matt Ryan is the man? Because he looks good warming up? He just doesn’t have the killer instinct necessary to win big games in this league. You can tell by the way he smiles. That’s right I just said that.
Meanwhile the hapless Ninners are coached by the least technically prepared staff in the league. Mike Singletary is a motivator and a coordinator but he desperately needs an assistant head coach to help him with big boy decisions like when to take a time out or challenge a play. Having said that, look for the Ninners to get off the schnide and win this one straight up as Mike Johnson takes over as Offensive Coordinator. This team has too many offensive weapons to not produce so the change in leadership should help motivate.
Rams (+2 ½) vs. Seahawks
Taking the Rams at home with a gimpy S-Jax against an overachieving Seahawk squad is risky and this line may even be larger if Jackson indeed doesn’t play but the Rams and Sam Bradford are playing much better than anyone expected to start the year. The Rams pick up of Mark Clayton was a key move that gave Bradford a weapon and a sense of comfort in the new offense having played with Clayton while both were at the University of Oklahoma. The Rams were not blown out in either of their two losses and could easily be 2-1 and atop their division now. This is shaping up to be a nice season in St. Louis due to the lack of any powerhouse within the division.
Raiders (+4 ½) vs. Texans
Did anyone else notice this is “inner division” week in the NFL with 10 of 14 games being divisional tilts? This is one matchup where teams that only see one another every four years or so face off in a game that both teams need to win. The Raiders snatched defeat from the mouth of victory last week by shanking a 25 yard FG while the Texans lost a big matchup against their big brothers from Dallas.
The Raiders have been moving the ball on the ground this year and while the Texans are the 2nd ranked run defense in the NFL this ranking is skewed. Opponents don’t try to run against Houston because they are usually behind by a couple of scores and are playing catch up or they’re the Redskins. This will be a test for both units but I give the edge to the Raiders since they are at home.
The Texans have issues at wide receiver if Andre Johnson doesn’t play. Nnamdi Asomugha will take Walters or Jones out of the game and with Owen Daniels gimpy that leaves Matt Shaub with limited options outside of Foster to move the ball. The Raiders are currently ranked 24th overall against the run so this may be an option for Houston but if the Silver and Black are able to focus on stopping the run it may be a long day for Texan fans.
*If you make wagers based on my recommendations, you may want to seek professional help. This article is for amusement only and if it is not amusing to you then I feel sad for you. So sad.
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